In some cultures marriages are pre-arranged. Believe it or not, marriages in America are pre-arranged. We believed we were free, but we were modeling social conditioning. I’m convinced it’s time to legalize happiness—time to explore relationships and marriage from a very different point of view. Yes, your spirit may be weary and you may have shut down your heart, but there are new experiences beyond single, married and then divorced—only to try it again and again and again. Let go of all that. Don’t give up now. Your job is done, or almost done—and the prize is within your grasp. The archetype of spiritual partner is new to the human experience. You can now use relationships for your spiritual development.

The unconventional wisdom I am revealing, will challenge any obsolete programming you may be trying to conform to—and challenge your current beliefs about relationships, marriage, lifestyles, love, romance, and sexuality. Here’s your chance to discover alternative ideas about love, intimacy and sexuality. Explore new ways to integrate your spiritual and romantic ideals,  and learn how to manifest your sacred partnerships. Allow your heart’s desires to be fulfilled. Shift your consciousness to allow for greater joy than you ever imagined possible!!!

Since 1987 I have enjoyed meaningful conscious sacred partnerships with wonderful men who have added to my life. None of these relationships evolved into a lifetime partnership—but none of them had to, in order to be of value. I am very grateful for each person’s beneficial contributions, which include rich emotions and life enhancing experiences.

Since 1990 I’ve been consciously role modeling 21st century sacred partnerships. I don’t have all the answers for making relationships work, because we are evolving a new model. There are no hard and fast rules for entering this new sacred partnership paradigm. I  share what I’ve learned in hopes that the information will be helpful to others who are searching for a healthier model for relating together. Instead of punishing or judging myself for “what I did for love,” I used my experiences as a research project.

I bring good news—a new hope-filled message. I feel I have earned the equivalent of a Ph.D. from my own real life relationship experiences, and from what I learned over the past 18 years as I’ve helped clients transcend their “horror stories about what they did for love.” I discovered that my lessons are everybody else’s too—and in order to teach this stuff I had to directly experience it.

One thing I know for certain—people are truly wanting to connect with one another in deep meaningful ways. They are longing for community, touch, intimacy, friendship, synergy, validation, companionship, respect and love—AND while craving togetherness deep inside they have a great fear of experiencing love. None of us will be able to manifest our heart’s desires, until we resolve our split commitment of wanting (yet fearing and not expecting) love.

Cultural Programming Is Very Different From Natural Scripting

 Our current model of marriage doesn’t work for most people today—and hasn’t for many years. I discovered something wrong with the system we are trying to conform to–and not something wrong with all of us. With the divorce statistics of 50% nationwide and 75% in California, it’s no wonder people are reluctant to fully participate in relationships. Who in their right mind would play a game where they knew the chances of winning were 25 to 50%. Marriage, as we know it, doesn’t serve at least 50 to 75% of the people today. So, instead of following old programming of sex-marriage-divorce (and doing it faster and faster and faster), let’s consider a whole new system.

Have you been doing therapy, attending seminars, ACA, 12 step programs—and trying to figure out if you love too much, too little,  or if you’re codependent, dysfunctional, or too independent, or if you are from Mars or Venus, etc.? If so, why not agree to jump into a new kind of intimate sacred partnership—one that follows your natural scripting instead of cultural programming. I believe we’re designed to be interdependent and need each other, however needing each other and being needy, are very different. I believe it’s in the Divine Universal Plan for each of us to be integrated in our masculine-feminine energy. Intimate relationship is the perfect place to experience this.  

Get a Life … Then Get A Relationship

Know yourself first. Individuate! Most of us have been conditioned to seek relationships outside ourselves, because we have been living in an externally driven society. Our challenge is to understand that relationships are 50% internal and 50% external. We have been “seeking in far off lands that which lies within”—seeking in others what we were looking for in ourselves. All relationships are transitory and change form. Even the dearest husband, wife, significant other, or life partner of 60 years, is a transitory role. You came into this earth alone and you are going out alone. The only relationship that is always with you is the relationship you have with yourself. Relationships become like a tapestry with each thread an experience. At the end of this life, all you take with you is your experiences.

Empower yourself. Consciously choosing specific relationships and real life experiences to process issues and grow yourself. Stop going to therapy, seminars and reading books. Once you connect with someone you choose to spend time with, you need to outline reasonable expectations, define boundaries, create a vision identifying what you are willing to commit to co-creating, and clarify your purpose for sharing life experiences. Some people want to share material and financial stuff—others want to share “beingness.” Some want both. Neither is better. You must be clear about what’s important to you.

Make sure you share honest communication, be playful, light-hearted, sensuous and loving. Intimacy means being in-time—on the same wave length and able to share complimentary activities. Intimacy is not just a close sexual relationship. It’s a feeling of connectedness, closeness, and interdependence of a deep nature. Intimacy can be experienced in a split second or can be built over a period of time, depending on the vulnerability level of the people.

If you attract someone into your life that you don’t want, simply “Go Fish’n.” Be aware, totally present, live fully in the moment, and see reality as it is. Don’t force the person to be in a relationship with you if they don’t fit. Remember, there are always more fish in the sea. Just like going fishing, you can throw the person back if you reel in someone you don’t want. They will be just perfect for someone else.

Looking For Love  In All The Right Places

Love is an energy that holds everything together in the Universe. We crave togetherness–yet as strange as this may sound, we tend to deeply fear the relationship we desire the most. On one hand each of us wants to be loved—and at the same time our greatest fear is experiencing love.

Hollywood’s version of romantic love, lust, romance and sexual physical attraction is based on romance, not love. It’s an artificial program most of us bought into. The music industry capitalizes on all sorts of painful experiences and perverted romantic ideals.  Romance is wonderful and important, but not the foundation for a spiritual partnership. You will have personal preferences in your partner–qualities you prefer. But if you want a complimentary partnership, it’s time you looked beyond the wrapper (the external package). Use discernment, not judgment. Discernment does not make anyone right or wrong—good or bad. It just clarifies  your preferences.

Most people only experience outcome-based relating. Everything they think, say. or do is to achieve a predetermined outcome. Everything is done to achieve a “next step.” I suggest that you be spontaneous, stay in the moment, and enjoy the process of relating together–rather than being concerned about the outcome or “where all this will lead.”

Conscious Sacred Partnership

In 1988 I read Gary Zukov’s book The Seat of the Soul.  His spiritual partnership concepts made sense of the theater of my life experiences, and really impacted me. In 1990 I met research scientist and visionary, Kathryn Chardin. She explained her Science of Evology whole systems self-actualizing blueprint to me, and changed my life forever. She introduced me to a model that I could use to translate conceptual relationship ideas into a lived reality. I traded in my cultural relationship programming for my innate natural scripting. Many people are grateful that I taught them Kathryn’s model for 21st century conscious partnerships.

A soul level relationship or spiritual partnership will expand your awareness beyond marriage or romantic, physical, financially based relationships. True partnership brings lasting freedom, is mutually empowering, and is only achieved by separate and whole people who retain their uniqueness while being in partnership. Spiritual partners must share a compatible level of spiritual consciousness. Sacred partnerships are vital to your soul’s developmental process. You can’t reach your zenith alone!

Relationships are not separate from life, and not a luxury. They are an important part of planetary evolution. The Science of Evology blueprint has five levels for conscious partnering. You determine where you are in your development process, and then create a personal action plan to consciously manifest appropriate partners at the appropriate time.

Level one is individual with only an awareness of being part of a social-cultural group. Level two is sexual attraction and is primarily focused on temporary attraction, flirtations and possessiveness. Level three is marriage partners—whose primary purpose is procreation, building a family and creating financial security. Level four is soul mates—their primary purpose to individuate, connect with their soul’s purpose, and share experiences in unconditional love, acceptance and mutual support. Level five is Divine complements—life-work partners. This is where two whole persons unite to share life and life-work projects—they cooperate, and co-create planetary transformation projects. When you consciously understand relationships from this expanded point of view, you can co-create “perfect” partnerships all the time.

Cultural programming has enslaved millions of people to outcome-based relating using only levels one, two and three. In this newly emerging world of conscious partnering, anyone who chooses, can reach new heights together. We have been in pre-school when it comes to relationships. It’s time, not to just wake-up—but to grow up and be more loving to ourselves and each other. I know for certain that if I, my clients, my friends and most people I meet, had not been programmed by society to follow an old road map, most of us would have started in level 4 or 5 and we’d be experiencing much more joy in our lives.

Heart-Powered Relationships

So say good bye to “sparring partners”–settling, dominate, control, fear of dysfunction, fear of STD’s, fear of being along, fear of losing yourself, and good bye to sourcing your energy from each other. Trust your heart’s desires! Admit you really hunger for a deep body-mind-spirit sharing with another person. Trust that there is magic in sharing destinies and dreams, trust your knowingness that “together we’re better.” Give yourself permission to experience a complementary sacred partnership.

What’s different in a soul level relationship is that you are free to live your destiny. You get to experience the joy of freedom and intimacy. Each person clearly states who you are and what your boundaries are. Everyone is a free agent. There’s no trapping the other person, no “have-to’s and shalt nots”—only “thou shalts and clearly communicated visions.” If someone doesn’t want to treat you the way you want—you don’t try to change them. You speak your truth, try to resolve differences and then just transform it into something that works. It becomes time to change the relationship form when one person outgrows the other. It’s irresponsible to try to hang on to a “finished relationship” because it will hinder your growth.

In our minds we want to marry for life—but we are transformational beings. Each of us is a transformational being with our own path, unique experiences, and destiny. Just as nature is constantly changing, we too must continuously change. It always amazes me how hard people strive to hold onto a relationship, or how they believe they can “get a relationship in place once and for all”  and get back to life as usual. Divorce statistic prove that relationships must change form or they die. Since many of us are in a fast track soul growth cycle, it only makes sense that partners may have to change too. Think in terms of transforming relationships and learn how to consciously evolve relationships.

The question most frequently asked me is…”What about commitment?” Good question? What about commitment? Commitment to what? Are we committing to a fairy tale idea to “live happily ever after” or are we being honest and realistic about our relationship expectations? 

Here is my answer about  commitment. First of all, I believe people partner together for growth and not necessarily  for life. The quality of the relationships is far more important than the length of time. For some people partnering for growth could mean a lifetime. For others you can expect serial relationships, where there is a harmonious completion between the partners and several of these throughout your lifetime. Some relationships, and they can be very intimate and fulfilling, even though they are as brief as a chat in the grocery checkout line, are merely intended to touch our hearts and not meant to take the person home and try to make it into a long term relationship. Regardless of the end result, the most important factor is the quality of the relationship, not the length of time. Personally, I would rather have 5 good minutes, rather than doing what my mother did which was stick it out with a raging alcoholic for 23 years.

I believe the honest thing to commit to is—living the life you were born to live, being your real self, following the Divine Plan for your partnership, being as present as you can be at all times, honoring, cherishing and respecting each other for who you are and who you are becoming, passionately sharing your lives, dreams and destinies … and treating each other as precious gifts. After all, there are over 6 billion people on the planet. It’s a miracle (Divine Destiny) that your paths crossed at all. Commit to being spiritual partners, friends, confidants and lovers … commit to reaching new heights together—and commit to having a good time on your sacred earth journey for as long as it mutually serves both of you.

Here’s a bigger picture of relationships. When awakened women and men form sacred life-work partnerships, they will depolarize competition, war, conflict and the depletion of planetary resources—healthy family and social systems will be recreated—AND men and women  will work together to transform the quality of life on this planet. This is what we have been searching for in our past relationships.

If there ever was an important crusade or project to get involved in…this is it. A new relationship paradigm. Dedicate yourself to being a role model for 21st century complementary partnerships—and enjoy the magic of sacred partners reaching new heights together.  

This article is written by and the property of, Jeanine Just, founder and CEO of Visionaries University. You have permission to share it through any medium as long as proper credit lines are included.

Jeanine Just empowers people to courageously reinvent their businesses, lives, and future. Jeanine is a visionary success strategist,  new paradigm builder, author, inspirational speaker, seminar facilitator  —and  highly acclaimed trance-formation agent

For interviews, radio/TV guest, seminars, consulting, or more information for getting control of your destiny, please contact Jeanine at 949-494-3811 or  www.visionariesuniversity.org